i overheard my wife talking about me

Best of luck, stay happy, and be you (those who disagree can simply get out). This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. How long has she been friends with them? We have been married for more than 10 years and have . People can be so two-faced with that kind of thing. Im about to grab the beers and be on my way. I hope you are able to get marriage counseling and find a way through this wether it ends with you together or not. Not buying it. I can understand your hurt, and breach of trust, but people act stupid sometimes. Dude, she needs to recognize that her violation of your trust is incredibly bad. There were many times where we wanted to throw in the towel. If you need more time to yourself, take it. This makes me so angry I'm having a hard time putting it into words. Also? I have one person I talk to sometimes about my gf. I would be so freaking upset & sad. If my wife did this, I doubt I'd ever care to be into intimate with her again. If shes serious about your marriage shell reassess her friends group too. I don't think she is disinterested in the guy, but I will say I don't tolerate that kind of weakness. I could hear what they were saying and I heard one of her friends mention Tom. Those homophobes won't care that he's married to a woman. I am a firm believer that most things can be worked through. That's where your power is. Itll be hurtful to both of you for a long time and you probably both need therapy but if you truly do love each other, itll be worth it. The fact that her mindset even thinks doing things like anal play are bi tells me she probably has some internalized homophobia she needs to deal with. And as a low blow it is, it's an easy way out for a quick laugh among her judgemental friends. Maybe you could come around trusting her, but i wouldn't trust her friends. If you think you can continue in a relationship with someone who is so nonchalantly willing to throw you, your feelings, and your whole person under the bus so easily, for what? I think the problem here is not your wife not loving you or your sex life -- it sounds like she loves you very much and enjoys y'all's sex life. I also pointed out that every single one of her relationships ended up being abusive so she had no right to tell me to leave my boyfriend when he'd never lay a finger on me. i would like to add a partner should never ever make you feel ashamed or embarrassed about your sexuality. No one cares. Oh come.A- at least. You are who you are, it's a done deal. Implying that OP's "flaw" as husband material is because he not 100% straight and slept with men is homophobic. Not one woman was shocked or uncomfortable, just derogatory. 1) Your wife was so freaked she let the fact that you're bi slip out two years ago yet continues to discuss it with them? She's probably just as judgemental as them because people surround themselves with people like themselves. You are joke to your wife she have no respect for you at all. Ugh. Including mutual friends that were homophobic and a girl who hated my guts (and my ex totally knew about those things). Whatre you guys laughing about? I ask with a smile playing stupid. She was shitfaced when she admitted your sexuality, was pressured to mock your sexuality by her terrible friends, and she didn't actually mean to completely fucking demean you sexually. Doesn't matter if she means it or not. . You and your wife decided to marry each other. How you deal with this will depend on how you two communicate about it. Your wife is a cowered. She not only outed him, but this obviously wasn't the first time they've discussed this. Just here to let you know bi guys are preferable. You took that better than I would have. Add on the fact that her friends were telling her that Tom was in town - thats another reason she needs to drop the problematic friends. Wife: " (my name) I dunno what your heard but it's not what" Me: " (wifes name) I know exactly what I heard." I turned around and stormed off to our room. There is nothing worse than feeling betrayed by the one person you thought you could trust with anything. These fake stories are starting to piss me off. They'll only hear "he likes sex with men. You deserve so much better than this. Her friends have always been cool to me. I would keep notes about what's promised and then see what she manages to do about it going forward (should you decide to stay with her). Own who you are and youll feel so much better. But one thing I have realized is that you should be proud of who you are as a person, sexual preferences included. Ugh I'm angry for you OP, but I agree with the other posters. Honestly the only advice I have is to don't give an inch on the fact that you were the one outted and ridiculed, not her. I couldn't stop laughing at the first sentence in your comment. Get your better halves and get the fuck out of my house I sniped as I tipped my fedora and winked at my wifes hottest friend who was clearly impressed by my rage erection that had partially split the seam in my relaxed fit Levi 501s. She told him that he was drunk and that no she hadn't told me. Kidding aside. Wife and I have been married 7 years and its literally the marriage everyone wants. Third, never fighting is surprisingly not a sign of a great marriage. Sounds like shes really sorry. At the beginning of the marriage endometriosis and disparei is, we spent almost an year without sex, I was always by her side, left the work early, never even thought about hookups or relief with other women. I just chain smoked and clinched the steering wheel so hard I thought I was gonna break it. Would she have thrown Tom under the bus like that to entertain her friends ignorance? Life is great and were very blessed. Does it not show a serious weakness in character that she bull shitted like that? But try couples counseling and go from there. I'd be crushed if I heard my wife's friend's say something like that, and then she just hangs me out to dry instead of standing up for me. My guess is that she was only sorry he caught her and she's been crying because she's about to become a divorced mom. Are you being a bit harsh? They give up so quickly when there's a whole lifetime ahead of joy, wonder and happiness. Acknowledge what you are going through sucks, don't judge it, & tell yourself the following: this is temporary. Don't go broadcasting it. At the end of the day, passion doesnt make a partner, love care (a bit of passion/good sex) and commitment do. But that's fucked You need to stand up for your person to your friends not play along. Genuine apologies matter so I guess gage how genuine you think she is or if shes just upset she got caught? Your wife have no sense of conjugality. This crap has been swimming around for TWO FUCKING YEARS. From one bi to another, I'm sorry you had to go through this, it's a bisexual's nightmare scenario to hear your long-term partner say this kind of shit. I 100% understand why you're so upset. Im gonna get downvoted for this but I think you should hear it anyway OP. Judging from what is written it seems that shes as much into it as he is, she needs to be real about that. Please think about going to individual counseling as well as couples counseling! She outed you to your group of friends without asking you about it. Sorry bro, you got something thinking to do You need to learn how to deal with being outed and your stupid wife needs to understand the true ramifications for you. She pulled her friends into your marriage and made you the butt of a running joke. It's healthy and necessary. However you talk shit no doubt with your friends you would probably never want her to hearbwe can all be thoughtless assholes from time to time She chose you I'm not saying you overreacted must off been devastating to hear but it sounds like overall you guys have a good and loving relationship unless you are truly broken by this you need to talk and work out where you are now and whether this is repairable or not situation. And regarding the "I let it slip while drunk" part, she's still responsible for her acts while drunk. Also she devolved some abusivo behaviour which, according to her was due to the lack of sex. She didn't have your back and she put friendship with assholes over her partner in life. Your sexual relationship is basically the basis of trust in your relationship as a whole. I think you should try to work this out. Trust your gut, make the proper judgements, and most importantly bounce the fuck back. Your wife said that she accidently let slip two years ago you were bi. Dont just jump straight to divorce. My only advice is to give it time. Your wife hates that you're bi. She and her boyfriend did it regularly. I mean the "I overheard my wife say something upsetting about me to her friends" genre is a little played out. My conjecture is that she did so because of the above reasons basically to seem cool. So she's been hiding this for a couple years instead of letting him in on all the jokes behind his back. OP, be worried that you're married to someone willing to lie about how they feel about you to have a better image for their friend group. I packed a bag, kissed the kids goodbye, and told them I was going to grandmas house to help her with something. Go out and do things during those days, don't wallow. My husband is also bi, and I would never mock his sexuality like that. It's tough but I would stay just for the kids. Maybe. But she also initiates in the bedroom a lot, which means at least the main idea of her bullshit is false. I (45M) have been married to my wife (45F) for 20 years. 2) Your wife flat out lied about her grin and bear it attitude about your sex life regarding the "bi stuff" when she often initiates it. First, you did not overreact, this is a huge violation of your trust. It was lovely that the mate called you and said what he did. The guys and I were in the garage smoking and throwing back some beers just bullshitting about this and that. Fourth, (and this is a guess) given that your wife has some judgemental friends, she is probably just talking some crap that she does not necessarily mean. You're married to the person who should MOST be on your side and she has completely betrayed you for a fucking laugh. You need to tell her how this has made you feel and how hurt you are by it. Then, when I was in the bathroom (just outside of their bedroom door), I could hear them talking about me. 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